A Mothers Love
by isis

A Mothers love
Surpasses no other
Her love is unconditional
No rewards asked~

A Mothers love
Lives on
In the hearts of men, women and children
There is no end~

A Mothers love
Gives without taking
Listens without accusing
Accepts without recriminations~

A Mothers love
A Mothers wisdom
A Mothers knowledge
All of this she leaves in Gods hands~

Advice For Moms New to Wrestling

• Don't laugh the first time you see your son in a singlet.
• Don't make plans from November 1^st through March 1^st. You'll either be at a match, at a tournament, driving someone somewhere, washing smelly, sweat-soaked clothes, nagging your kid to eat, or selling something.
• Yes, it does cost $100 for shoes that never leave the gym.
• You will save on grocery bills during the wrestling season, but the day season ends have the fridge and pantry stocked. Your child (who counted fluid ounces for months) will eat non-stop for about 72 hours, until his cheekbones disappear again.
• Don't bother the coaches during a match (they're a little high strung). When they come to you after the match, it's not to talk about your wrestler, they just need aspirin or Rolaids.
• Be prepared... tournaments run from sunup to sundown. Don't expect to see the light of day. Bring a cushion to sit on, a book to read, and some snacks. (You might want to hide the snacks... a few wrestlers can devour a package of cookies in nanoseconds.)
• Don't ask me why a fungus is called a worm, but stock up on Tinactin, and make sure your child realizes that jumping in the pool does not count as a shower.
• Diaper pins have become obsolete. (If you are approaching menopause, expect very strange looks when you ask for them).
• When you are out in public with your son, whose face is covered with bruises, don't bother trying to explain to strangers that you didn't put them there.
• I'm not sure who is in charge of weigh-ins, but your child will always have to wrestle someone who is a foot taller and about 10-15 lbs. heavier (and growls). It's a fact.
• If your son is in a headlock, his face is turning purple and he is mouthing the words "I can't breathe", don't run out on the mat... the referee will notice eventually.
• Sit with other moms... it helps to join hands when a mom wants to run out on the mat for an injury... or to attack an official.
• There are a lot of ways wrestlers get points, but even after 10 years I still don't understand how a wrestler gets called for stalling when he is losing.
• As a mother, you will never understand how our gentle, sweet child could possibly love to wrestle... to be stretched and twisted in ways nature never intended... but he does. So be happy when he wins, supportive when he loses, and always have the camcorder batteries charged!
• -Unknown

Q: It has come to my attention that there is a wrestling coach teaching "making weight" strategies to 5th grade students. I cannot understand why they cannot compete in their own weight class but he is encouraging them to lose weight in a matter of a couple days. These are healthy young boys who are not in the least bit overweight. I am worried about these boys, though my own children are girls and are not affected. I want to make a difference, but am not sure how. The coach has been approached concerning this matter yet, some of these 10-year-old boys are still not eating their lunch and sometimes crying because they are hungry. They will not go against the coach. Can you help me with information concerning this matter?

Read What Dr. Doreen Greenberg has to say:
Read What Dr. Keith Wilson Has to say:

Psychologically and socially, one of the major tasks of childhood is identity formation. A child's self-concept changes on the basis of his/her experiences. The development of self-worth includes a sense of academic, social and athletic competence. The physical self is part of every child's identity. If a child is made to feel that he/she must do something unhealthy and potentially self-destructive in order to be a competent athlete - what is the life lesson that he/she is learning?

Nearly everyone agrees that youth sports can be a valuable asset in helping to create a positive identity. Through sports participation, youngsters can learn to be good winners and good losers. They can develop self-pride and self-confidence. They can come to understand the importance of a healthy, strong body. It can be a wonderful place for character building. But what type of "character" are we talking about here?

This situation is what we refer to as a "toxic" one. It is dangerous, both physically and psychologically. Toxic coaches are those who emphasize winning over fun. They substitute insults for instruction. And they promote harmful training strategies to the young athletes who look up to them. This is abuse.

Coaches can have a very powerful influence over their young athletes. For some kids, the sports team becomes a second family. There are some young athletes who will do anything to please the coach, even if it means deceptive, aggressive or unhealthy behaviors. Often, this can lead young athletes to burnout, serious injuries, emotional damage, eating disorders and dishonesty.

You have every right to evaluate a coach's behavior and hold him/her up to the highest moral and ethical standards. You have every right to make certain that the youth sports' environment is promoting the value of health and fitness.

Every young athlete participating in sport has a "Bill Of Rights". Among those rights are:

• The right to qualified leadership

• The right to play as a child

• The right to a safe & healthy environment

Post Your Thoughts to our message board.

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WEST VIRGINIA MAT THOUGHTS

... on Being a True Champion

Amidst an everchanging society, there are some things that are unchanging. I, for one, like consistency in life. And nothing is more constant than the attributes needed to truly succeed in any lifetime endeavor--whether it be schoolwork, athletic competition, raising a family, or making a living. As wrestlers aspiring to become champions of the mats, you would be wise to consider the following message for developing into true champions, not just winners.

THE TRUE CHAMPION

• T raining--Give your "all" and finish what you start.
• R esponsibility--Accept the consequences (good or bad) of your actions.
• U ndauntedness--Let nothing stop you from reaching your "goals".
• E xcuses--Allow no place in your life for making excuses.

• C ompassion--Care for the feelings of others.
• H umility--Accept success with graciousness.
• A ttitude--Think "positive" thoughts, especially when times are tough.
• M aturity--Don't permit negative "emotions" to control your life.
• P ride--Accept failure with dignity.
• I ntegrity--Be honest with others and yourself.
• O bedience--Learn to follow if you plan to lead.
• N uture--Feed your talents, knowing that you can never stop learning.

WEST VIRGINIA MAT THOUGHTS

... on Parents' Love for their Wrestlers

Wrestlers! If you haven't realized it yet, don't ever forget the plight of your parents.
Young gentlemen, I'm afraid that during this time in your lives, you have no idea of what your parents go through because of their love for you. I know what I am talking about because I never thought about it, myself, until I stopped competing and had time to mature and think back to those days.

For example, I can now remember the time my father fell off the bleachers--due to his gyrating movements to help my brother when he was wrestling. Mom, on the other hand, often had to leave the gym when we wrestled because it was too hard on her nerves to watch us. And get this, my dad did not even come to witness my state championship match in 1963, not because he didn't love or support me with all his heart--but because he couldn't take the pressure any longer. (He instructed Mom to call him right after the match.)

If you still don't understand what I am talking about, I can assure you that your parents know what I am getting at--because many of them have experienced similar feelings. Like my parents, they, too, have often demonstrated the same mannerisms while you wrestled. There's no doubt about it; this is not only one of the toughest individual athletic events for the participant, but also for his parents. As a matter of fact, there are some people I know who have been involved in wrestling themselves, but would rather not have their own kids wrestle. You see, they don't want to be exposed to the kinds of stress to which I am referring. Well, true wrestling parents are quite special. They are willing to accept the sacrifices their sons have to make. These parents know how the mat sport teaches individual responsibility -- a trait that will follow their boys throughout the rest of their lives.

So, young men of the mats, listen to what I am saying. And take a moment to thank God for the wonderful parents with whom you have been blessed. Oh, and especially take the time to sincerely thank your mom and dad for their dedication to you and your athletic endeavors. They truly are your best friends in life.

				From The Coach						By Bruce Gabrielson Head Coach - SMWC Spring, 1999
			The Champions Ladder To Success

I am often asked by parents what I think drives a champion, what can prevent someone from becoming a champion, and/or what makes a champion what he or she is? Since everyone is different, this is a very difficult question to answer. However, over the years I've had the unique opportunity to observe a number of great wrestlers from when they were little to when they completed their competitive careers and went on to coaching or their professional life. While most of the best wrestlers were successful as kids, some didn't really start to develop until they reached high school age. Based on what I've noted among those who failed or succeeded starting when they entered the 9th grade, here are some of my thoughts and observations. I call this my "Champions Ladder to Success".

Assuming the basic wrestling skills are known entering high school, substance abuse and distractions (including peer influences) seem to be the biggest hindrances to success. The wrestler must make a choice as to how far he or she wants to go. If wrestling isn't your primary sport, then don't do more than wrestle during the season, stay away from substance abuse, and have fun. By the time you are a senior you should have some level of success. I constantly talk to parents of high school seniors who come to me at the beginning of the season and say "We really want to win this year", or "We really want to get a wrestling scholarship so what can we do"? All I can say to them is "it's a little late but we'll do the best we can."

If you're in high school and wrestling is to be your sport, then hold to an off-season workout and competitive schedule, even if you need to work. I've seen so many good high school wrestlers get a car, work every night and weekends to pay for it, party every weekend, and not make the grade when it comes to college wrestling. Also, drugs and alcohol might be big in some party circles, but it's the fastest way to end a successful career that there is.

If you get lucky and make the grade to wrestle in college, you face another whole set of new circumstances. In college the distractions such as parties and substance abuse are even more prevalent, plus you have the added pressure of trying to keep your grades up while staying ahead of the competition. College wrestlers represent the best of the best. They are all good, and each is motivated at some level to succeed. If you don't have the motivation to push yourself, or if you can't walk the narrow path of least distractions, you will likely flunk out long before you fail as a wrestler. Even if you can handle the college academic pressure, you have to go that "one more yard" if you plan to get to the top. The best will push themselves and not let anything get in their way.

I've watched some of today's best and know their motivation and work ethic. It's nearly the same wherever you go and has always been that way. However, maybe a couple of examples from my own college years will help in explaining self-motivation and what it takes.

I knew a serious wrestler in college who lived in the dorms. He kept a weight set in his room and would lift whenever he got tired during his studying. He entered every off-season tournament he could find, had a regular off-season practice schedule, and drove himself to, not only become a wrestling champion, but also a 4.0 student and eventually a medical doctor. He was motivated to win and focused to succeed, regardless of his immediate or long term goal.

Another friend of mine was a two time NCAA Champion at my weight. He had a serious work ethic and was always practicing someplace. After he won a close championship match one-year I asked him what gave him that extra boost to win. His answer was something I will always remember. He said that the guy he had just beaten knew all the same moves and was just as strong. What won it for him was that his motivation and will to win was stronger than his opponents. I had a chance (and a personal pleasure) to speak with this same wrestler again many years later when he and I were officiating a freestyle match together during a national championship. Not only did he still feel the same but both he and I could see the same motivation in the winner of our match. A true champion is so strongly motivated that "they simply don't lose, they just get beat sometimes."

I remember my own off-season workouts during my college years. I would be in the wrestling room every day around 3:30 p.m. looking for someone to work out with. A couple of times each week I had a regular partner for the workout, but not every day. Although I was 130 lbs., sometimes I had to pull in football players who were taking wrestling as a class just to get a workout. I even had an old librarian who I taught how to wrestle just to have someone to work with. Weight training two to three times a week was also a must. Once I could get around, I was able to go to area club practices, and when summer came I had a local club around home to work out with. My practice off-season lasted right through summer until school started. What I'm saying is that self-motivation to do better is the primary driver for success. Without forcing yourself to do the extra work it will be difficult to reach the final goal of a champion. No one else can push you that hard, not your coaches and not your friends or team members, only yourself. This motivation must start during high school and must be strong enough to keep you focused right on through your college years. The path is narrow but the goal is there for the taking.

... on Tips for the Wrestling Parent

Wrestling parents must make a total commitment!
In my opinion, no other athletic contest asks as much from its parents as wrestling. Why do I feel this way? Well, in the mat sport, it is imperative that mom and dad learn the unique roles played by their son (the wrestler), the coach , and the official. Below are some helpful hints for dealing with these three individuals.

The Wrestler
Of utmost importance is making sure that your son eats the proper foods throughout the season. Moreover, do not place undue pressure on your boy during competition. Individual sports (especially wrestling) have a way of doing that themselves; you needn't add to it. Finally, and here is the tough one, teach your son to accept the consequences of his actions, allowing him no false crutches to stand on.

The Coach
Parental trust is the cornerstone in reference to the coach. Keep in mind that the coach is responsible for doing what he thinks best for the team and your son. If you are upset with a decision made by the coach, ask him about it. You'll probably find out that he has legitimate reasons for his action. But most importantly, support your coach; he deserves all the help you can give him.

The Official
As wrestling parents, try to keep in prospective the fact that the referee is faced with over 100 judgment calls per dual meet, and certainly many times that amount during tournament competition. Thus, you can not expect the official to be right on the money with every single call. So, acquire a satisfaction in knowing that he cares deeply about the safety of your boy, attempts to be as consistent as possible, and truly concerns himself with doing a fair and unbiased job.

To be totally honest, wrestling parents have quite a burden to bear. However, by following the above suggestions, the wrestling experience can be just as rewarding to them as it is for their son.

Tired of Spinning your head around trying to get your wrestler to do their homework, Here is a few tips that may help us all.

Ten Homework Tips Research shows that when parents become involved in their children's schoolwork, the children do better in school. One way you can get involved is by helping your child with homework. It will benefit both your child's school work and self-esteem.

One important aspect of helping your child with homework is to find out if the homework is appropriate. If your child is reading or doing mathematics below grade level, the homework should reflect this fact.

Here are ten tips to help with homework:

1. Keep in touch with the teacher or teachers to be fully aware of the quantity and the quality of the homework turned in.

2. Set a schedule, including both a beginning and an ending time. Most kids need some time to unwind after school before they tackle their homework. Doing it too close to bedtime may make it difficult due to fatigue. Fridays are usually the best day for homework that must be completed over the weekend. Assignments are still fresh in mind and last minute panic rushes are avoided.

3. Encourage your child to divide the homework assignment into "What I can do myself" and "What I need help with." You should help only with that part of the homework your child cannot do independently, such as using flashcards, practicing spelling tests, and clarifying assignments. This builds responsibility and independence in your child.

4. Use "Grandma's Rule." Remember that Grandma is reputed to have said that there is no dessert until you are finished with your spinach. Hold off on watching TV and other fun activities until homework is completed.

5. Provide a home study center for your child with adequate light and few distractions. If your child concentrates better with "white noise" (music), provide that help. Also, a dictionary, paper, pens, etc., should be readily available.

6. Use direct praise for doing the homework and even more for accomplishment. "You've spelled 18 out of 20 words correctly--that's the best you've done this semester!"

7. Be available when your child is doing homework, so that you can answer a question if there is confusion. If possible, it is better for you to be in another room, so you are easily accessible and yet not a distraction.

8. Look over the homework when it is completed. Do not correct it unless you have checked with the teacher. Seeing the pattern of errors is often helpful to a teacher.

9. Study groups are often a good strategy. Your child may benefit from studying with one or two classmates. However, make sure they are using the time to study.

10. Allow bathroom, drink, and/or snack breaks, but insist on completion of tasks.

A Reprint from the Parent Journal, Autumn 1994

Weight Lifting, Weight Training and Supplements By Mark B. Levin, M.D. and Louis J. Tesoro, M.D. The Pediatric Group, P.A., Princeton

This is the thirtysecond article in a series written for Princeton Online.

Dr. Mark B. Levin 

Dr. Levin has been a member of the staff at The Pediatric Group since 1977. Currently an attending Pediatrician at the Medical Center at Princeton, he has been Chairman, Department of Pediatrics, Medical Center at Princeton, 1984 to 1986, 1989 to 1992, and past President, Medical and Dental Staff, Medical Center at Princeton, 1987 to 1988. Dr. Levin has served on numerous Departmental and hospital committees. He has published original articles both while at Upstate Medical Center in Syracuse and at The Pediatric Group. He has a wife and three children. Dr. Levin enjoys alpine skiing, jogging, hiking and camping, travel, computers and racquetball.

Dr. Louis J. Tesoro

Dr. Tesoro has been a member of the staff at The Pediatric Group since 1988. Dr. Tesoro is Chairman, Department of Pediatrics, Medical Center at Princeton, 1996 to present and Attending Pediatrician, Medical Center at Princeton, 1988 to present. He has served on several Departmental and hospital committees, lectured at the Universiy of Pennsylvania and has published original articles both while at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia and at The Pediatric Group.

©All rights reserved, The Pediatric Group, P.A. 2001